


The Light To Meet It

by broedym



Series: The Darkness and The Light [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Force Use, Friendship, Gen, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-08 23:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14704296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broedym/pseuds/broedym
Summary: Follows the remaining Resistance fighters after The Last Jedi, as they go into hiding in a place Rey thought she’d never see again.Unsure what her place or purpose is, she realizes she has people around her who care about her, and that she’d do anything to protect them. Especially the pilot with the warm smile and the ability to charm and antagonize her at the same time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Confession: I’m new to this platform and this fandom, but I couldn’t resist. This ship had me at “I know”. 
> 
> Here is my humble Damerey offering.

The remnants of the Resistance, numbering no more than twenty, fled the Crait system on board the _Millennium Falcon_. They were not tracked through lightspeed this time, but Leia still insisted they make only a few brief stops at remote posts in the Outer Rim to refuel and gather supplies to support them in their hiding from the First Order. There were dozens of former Rebellion bases in the galaxy, but she feared their locations were known and could be easily scouted by the enemy. They would only last so long on the _Millennium Falcon_ in any populated system, as it was too much of a target for bounty hunters and spies.

Leia gave Chewbacca coordinates for the location of the one place she was certain the First Order – and her son – did not know. He grumbled his disapproval but they were soon travelling through hyperspace once more. Some time later the ship dropped into the atmosphere of Ahch-To and soared towards the desolate Jedi island shrouded in clouds.

Though Rey confessed to the general that Snoke had ripped the island’s whereabouts from her mind, she was also able to confirm that the Supreme Leader died at Kylo Ren’s hands only minutes later…unintentionally keeping the Resistance’s last secret safe. The only remaining bipeds or droids who had access to the map of the planet’s whereabouts were currently on the _Falcon_.

Chewbecca guided the ship to its previous landing space at the foot of the rugged mountainside. The Resistance members eagerly escaped the belly of the freighter as soon as its ramp opened, thankful for fresh air and space to move around after days confined together. Leia exited more slowly, grasping her cane, as she took in the forbidding sight of the island’s peak.

“You sure about this place, General?” Poe said at her elbow. All he saw were more of the annoying creatures that infested the _Millennium Falcon_ – dozens of porgs flew around the craggy rock face above them, disturbed by the arrival of the ship.

“As sure as I am about anything at the moment,” Leia replied, which instilled little confidence. “It’s not as if we have much of a choice.”

Poe’s hands were on his hips, waiting for her orders, but when Leia’s lips pressed into a firm line and she gazed off into the distance, he began calling to the others to start unpacking their supplies.

Rey emerged from the ship clutching her staff and moved to the general’s side. She breathed in the familiar salty air but it brought her no comfort. Rey hadn’t protested the idea of returning to Ahch-To when Leia decided on their destination, but now she was here her unease was palpable.

Leia felt a wave of empathy for the young Jedi. She knew being close to Luke’s last home was difficult, but she needed Rey to help guide them now, in more ways than one.

“Up there,” Rey said before Leia asked the question. Her calm voice belied her swirling emotions. “There are huts and a well.”  

Poe overheard and looked where she was pointing, surveying the crude stone steps that were shrouded in mist the higher they got. With a series of incredulous beeps BB-8 made his presence known.

“Don’t worry, buddy, I got you,” he said.

The group trudged up the mountainside with crates of rations and supplies, led by Rey who kept hold of Leia’s arm as the general struggled with the incline. Poe brought up the rear, his droid strapped to his back in a cargo net, and looked back to the _Falcon_ which had been left under the guard of R2-D2 and a growing group of curious porgs.

The stone huts weren’t large but there was room for the group to camp comfortably enough. Rey noticed that the hut pulled apart by Luke when he’d discovered her bond with his nephew had been fully restored. It was if it had never happened. Rey wished it hadn’t, just one of the regrets that haunted her.

She made sure Leia was shown to Luke’s hut. Leia looked around the forlorn space that was bare of any contents or remembrance of her brother, and her shoulders hunched further in grief. She declared in a small voice that she needed to rest. Lieutenant Connix stayed with her, Rey all too keen to distance herself from Luke’s former home and the general’s raw emotion.

Finn settled Rose into another of the huts, along with their other wounded. She was still unconscious, and they had exhausted what little medical knowledge and supplies the group had. One of the ground crew who had a little training assured Finn that rest would do her good, but he still insisted on keeping a vigil by her side.

Rey caught Poe’s eye as she emerged from checking on Finn, and without speaking they knew they needed to take charge. Rey pointed out the cache of peat and dried shrubs, and with a couple of volunteers she built a fire in the middle of the camp and in each of the huts. Poe ordered the storing of their supplies and the gathering of water before darkness fell.

She knew little of Poe Dameron except the small amount Finn had told her when she’d been able to coax him into conversation on the _Millennium Falcon_. She’d used it as a distraction from his concern for Rose, and Rey was able to piece together the basics of what had transpired since she left to find Luke Skywalker.

She watched the starfighter pilot, who shared a familiar camaraderie with Finn and had introduced himself to her with such warmth after their escape from Crait, as he took control of the group in Leia’s absence. The rest of the crew, broken by their recent losses, followed his lead without question or enthusiasm. There was little talk as they readied the camp, and within a couple of hours when night set in the remaining Resistance fighters were holed up in the Jedi huts as exhaustion took them.

Rey chose to stay outside by the fire, partly to keep watch for a while, but mostly for the peace and quiet. The heat from the flames also kept some of the darkness at bay...the shadows in her peripheral vision that threatened to overwhelm her if she let them. It wasn’t just the island’s ominous cavern that haunted her, it was everything Rey had survived in such a short amount of time. She found it hard to believe that it was mere weeks ago she was alone on Jakku, before her predictable, empty life was turned upside down by a small, spherical droid.

As if summoned, BB-8 was at her side and beeped a question at her.

“I’m fine out here, thanks,” said Rey. She gave a reassuring nod in response to more skeptical whistles from the droid.

“Time to leave the lady alone, pal.”

Rey looked up at Poe who was walking back into camp, from where she didn’t know.

“Just checking the perimeter,” he said by way of explanation.

“You won’t find much out there but porgs. Unless you like green milk.” Rey smiled slightly at the memory before recalling how sickening the sight of Luke milking the thala-siren had been.

“I don’t think I want to know,” replied Poe as he readied the portable charging station for BB-8. He sat down heavily a few feet from her while his droid connected up. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Huh?” Rey said, after her eyes had already returned to the fire.

“Me being here. If you’d rather be alone…”

“It’s fine,” she assured him.

What little time she’d spent in Poe’s company gave her the feeling he was an easy person to be around. She liked the way he tried to cheer Finn up during the past couple of days, despite Poe’s own worry for Rose’s wellbeing, and the way he checked on every member of the crew to see if they needed anything.

She did wonder at the darkness in his eyes when he’d looked around the Resistance survivors onboard the ship, and how two creases formed between his eyebrows when he spoke in hushed tones with Leia about their situation. In private moments when he thought no one was watching, Poe’s face revealed deep-seated worry and remorse, emotion coming off him in waves. Rey didn’t like to intrude and certainly did not probe his mind uninvited, but it was hard not to pick up on the despondency that radiated from him in unguarded moments.

“So this is the birthplace of the Jedi Order,” said Poe, looking around the meager camp. The bright moon and ribbon of stars above them made the place feel a little more hospitable than in the daytime. At least the night sky brought some familiarity and comfort.

“So they say,” Rey replied. “Though I didn’t have a lot of time with Master Luke to learn much about Jedi history.”

She thought of the ancient Jedi texts that she had liberated before leaving Ahch-To and Luke behind. Maybe now she would have time to make something of them, because at first glance she despaired at just how little she knew and how difficult it would be without someone to guide her.

Her thoughts darkened as she remembered Ben Solo – no, Kylo Ren’s – offer to teach her. Since their arrival that afternoon she had feared her return to the island would mean her connection to Kylo Ren would also recur...as if somehow being on Ahch-To surrounded by so much Jedi mythology had made it possible, not just Snoke. But she felt nothing of him, not even when she dared to reach out tentatively with the Force to check. Their connection remained closed, and Rey was grateful far more than the small part of her that missed it. Missed him, who – however briefly – made her feel like she belonged. She shook her head to rid herself of the dangerous, unbidden thought.

Rey looked over to find Poe watching her with a small frown, and she wondered momentarily – and with a clench of fear – if he knew her thoughts. As if he could somehow sense the turmoil she had felt before escaping Snoke’s ship, in the fleeting but potent moments she had considered Kylo Ren’s plea to stay with him. Rey shifted uncomfortably on the cold stone beneath her.

“We’re counting on you, you know,” Poe said quietly.

That did nothing to lessen the thumping in Rey’s chest. “What?”

“You’re our only Jedi Knight.”

“I’m not a Jedi Knight. Not much of a Jedi at all,” she murmured, throat tight, not meeting his eyes. “I barely started my training. I don’t even have a working lightsaber anymore.”

“Well, close enough,” Poe said with a shrug, in a voice lighter than before. “Closer than the rest of us, anyway.”

“What do you know about the Jedi?” she asked, her tone almost accusatory.

“Only what I read in holo-novels like everyone else. And the stories my mother told me about serving with Luke Skywalker.”

Rey’s mouth gaped slightly. “Your mother served with Luke Skywalker?”

“For a time during the Rebellion, yeah.”

Rey hated the fact a spark of jealousy flashed within her – not only did Poe know who his mother was, she was part of the victorious Rebellion and comrade of a Jedi Master no less. Not a junk trader who abandoned her child for drinking money. Rey pulled up one of her arm wraps self consciously, feeling every bit the desert scavenger.

“‘Course she got herself killed when I was eight, so it’s not as if I know that much,” Poe said grimly.

Rey looked over at him again, her envy forgotten. Poe rubbed a tired hand on the back of his neck and sighed, as if regretting he’d spoken.

“And on that note, it’s time I got some sleep.” He adjusted a control on BB-8’s charging station and, noting the droid was safely in low power mode, pulled himself to his feet. “You?”

“I’m going to stay up awhile.”

Rey bit her lip, contemplating the right thing to say to him. She didn’t know the correct social conventions so she just opted for a mumbled ‘good night’.

“G’night, Jedi.”

Poe shoved a blanket under his arm and disappeared into one of the huts. Rey’s gaze returned to the fire as her gloomy thoughts took hold once more.

 

0 0 0 0

 

At dawn Rey was woken from a restless sleep by animated exclamations from a group of the island’s Lanai Caretakers who surrounded her. She was stiff with cold, the fire having long died down. She was unsure how to explain to the small creatures that the last of the Resistance had taken over the Jedi sanctuary. Rey knew they already disliked her after her first disruptive visit to the island, so this wasn’t going to be easy.

Fortunately she was saved from having to deal with the situation when Leia appeared at the entrance to Luke’s hut and politely explained their presence. C-3PO joined her at the doorway.

“General, if I may,” the droid said before prattling off the translation.

Leia asked their leave to remain on Ahch-To until they were able to find an alternative location. The Caretakers’ chatter grew louder and more agitated as other members of the Resistance emerged from the stone huts, including Poe with his hand curled around the blaster strapped to his thigh.

The lead Caretaker gabbled angrily and pointed a stubby finger at Leia. C-3PO spoke again and it wasn’t until he mentioned “Jedi Master Luke” and motioned towards his twin sister that they fell silent. The Caretakers conferred between them and, assessing Leia’s firm countenance and regal bearing, finally acquiesced to her request. They shuffled forward, touching Leia’s hands and ushering her back inside Luke’s hut.

“Who the kriff are they?” asked Poe as he moved to stand next to Rey. He held out a hand to help her up which she ignored, and pushed herself to her feet.

“Caretakers of the island – they’ve looked after the Jedi Order for centuries.” Rey brushed off the back of her tunic. “Though they don’t like me.”

“Huh, guess you were right.”

She frowned quizzically at him.

“You’re not much of a Jedi,” he said.

A quick grin told her he was joking. Rey found herself smiling at him, liking the fact he teased her. It was a new sensation, being in on the joke. She liked it very much.

As the suns rose slowly in the sky, the new day brought her a little reassurance that, for now, they were safe. And that even though Rey had no idea what was coming next, she was amongst friends.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next few days the group settled into their new camp. The Caretakers saw they had plenty of fresh food, even if it was a steady repetition of oily fish, molluscs and kelp greens. Rey didn’t mind, she had gotten used to it and never turned her nose up at anything edible after years of near-starving in the desert.    

A portable comms rack had been set up in Leia’s hut and coded messages were sent to their allies. They had not come to their aid on Crait, but now there was time to regroup and combine their remaining forces to try and maintain the decimated Republic. Leia spent hours crouched over the console, trying every avenue she could think of for help and sanctuary, with Connix, Commander D’Acy and C-3PO to assist her.

The responses were overwhelmingly negative. They learned that Kylo Ren and the First Order made it known that anyone caught harboring any remaining members of the Resistance would be executed. Even without Starkiller Base, the First Order had enough firepower in their Dreadnought fleet to cripple any city on any planet. The new Supreme Leader had despatched his legions to every known Resistance base location and former Rebellion stronghold. Leia received warnings to stay hidden from those brave enough to respond, but no one would risk their necks to help further.

When he wasn’t conferring with the general, Poe was in charge of the camp and saw to it that everyone was gainfully employed in some task, even if it was merely to keep the group occupied. Rey and Chewbacca spent time priming the _Millennium Falcon_ , ensuring the ship was ready to leave if a safe base was found. She successfully encouraged most of the nesting porgs to return to their natural habitat, leaving only a couple in the cockpit that Chewie begrudgingly allowed to stay.

She would check on Finn throughout the day, noting the color returning to Rose’s face and the worry melting from his. A Caretaker matron had taken up residence with the wounded, providing tinctures and compresses that smelled awful but Finn was convinced they were working.

At night Rey chose not to bunk down in the huts with the others. When the cold rain made sleeping by the fire an impossibility she tried one of the _Falcon_ ’s berths, but underestimated the volume of the resident Wookiee’s snoring. Finally she curled up in a ball next to a warm, slumbering Finn and managed to sleep a little.

On that third morning Rose finally opened her eyes. Finn wept tears of relief and hugged Rey so hard it hurt. She laughed as she emerged from the hut and gave Poe the good news. His demeanor was noticeably brighter after he had spoken with Rose himself, and he exited the hut with an infectious smile that he aimed squarely at Rey who was waiting outside.

“Do you want to come somewhere with me?” Rey asked him unexpectedly. Then she felt her ears turn pink.

Poe blinked, but recovered quickly. “Sure, Jedi. Where do you want to go?”

She refrained from rolling her eyes at his insistence on calling her that, an annoying habit that he’d persisted with since their first conversation by the fire. Rey didn’t know why she had asked him to join her, blaming his smile. She wished she hadn’t opened her mouth. He had more important things to do than provide her with company. And since when did she need company, she wondered.

“Er, I want to return something I took last time I was here,” Rey explained, collecting her pack laden with the pilfered Jedi texts. “At least, until we’re ready to leave again.”

Poe held out his arm. “Lead the way.”

Rey snatched up a canteen and threw it to him, a little harder than necessary, and walked swiftly out of the camp so he had to jog to catch up. He offered her a protein ration from his pocket and grinned at the look of hunger that flashed across her face along with the realization that they were missing breakfast in camp.

“So, where are we going exactly?” he asked as they trudged along a muddy path. Rey had learned quickly that he didn’t like silence and felt compelled to break it.

“The island’s sacred Force tree,” she said, but didn’t elaborate further.

Her hand tightened around her pack in anticipation of connecting with the ancient tree once more. It seemed only right that she return the Jedi texts to their proper home while they were on Ahch-To. She hoped that somehow they might make more sense there, as thus far she found the books nearly impossible to comprehend in any meaningful way.

“Oh, a Force tree,” Poe replied, sounding anything but interested.

“Wait ‘til you see it, it’s not just any old tree. It’s special.”

“I know exactly what it is, Jedi.”

Rey stopped in her tracks, causing Poe’s shoulder to bump into hers. She’d learned enough about the Jedi to know that uneti trees were extremely rare, and was instantly annoyed that Poe was so dismissive of it.

“How?” she demanded.

“I grew up with one,” he said with a shrug and started walking up the path again.

“You did not,” retorted Rey. “Where?”

“Yavin 4.”

She caught up with him. “ _How?_ ”

“Years ago my mother went on a mission with Luke Skywalker to retrieve two tree fragments from an Imperial base on Coruscant. He gave her one of them and it’s planted at my family’s place. My Dad’s place.”

“Oh.”

Rey wondered at how little she knew about Poe Dameron. It made her feel awkward and small, compared to her own history or lack thereof. But at the same time she was intrigued by him. Between his family and his time in the Resistance, she guessed he had hundreds of stories about places and events she could only dream about.

Rey walked with her head down, contemplating how she might ask more about Poe’s past without overstepping, when she heard his sharp intake of breath. Her eyes snapped up and through the fog she saw the blackened remains of the Force tree ahead of them.

She dropped her pack and approached the tree slowly. Rey had dreamed about it long before she ever saw it. She hadn’t understood its importance until recently but had always felt comforted by it. And the night before she left Ahch-To when she had taken the Jedi texts, she could have sworn she heard whispers from its roots, echoes of the past. Now there was only silence and a lingering smell of ash in the air.

An involuntary sob escaped her chest as she stumbled up the last stone steps towards what was little was left of the tree. She reached out to run her hand down a burnt fragment. There was no Luke. No Jedi. No Ben. Nothing but some moldy old books that were supposed to guide her towards her destiny. I can’t do this, she thought to herself, her eyes pressed closed. I can’t do this alone.

Poe stepped up to her side. “I’m sorry, Rey,” he murmured.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. She tried to swallow her despair and balled her hand into a tight fist. “None of it matters.”

“Of course it does,” he replied, his hand covering hers gently.

Rey snatched her hand away and swiped at her eyes. “It really doesn't. It was just an old tree.”

Poe looked over the remains of the gnarled trunk and let out a deep breath.

“I’ll make it up to you one day,” he said, eyes still on the tree. “I’ll take you to Yavin 4 so you can see a Force tree again. I never really appreciated it, but I think you will.”

“You don’t need to do that,” she said, frowning.

“I want to, there’s a difference.”

“Why?” Rey wished her voice didn’t sound so small. But Poe had turned his gaze on her and it made her insides squirm in a way that suddenly scared and thrilled her at the same time.

“I guess ‘cause I owe you one. You rescued my droid on Jakku. BB-8 told me how you and Finn made sure the map to this gods-forsaken rock got safely returned to the Resistance.”

Poe shrugged then, throwing her a lopsided grin. “Plus, you’re our Jedi. I happen to think you’re incredible.”

Rey blushed all the way down to her feet, it felt like. “You barely know me,” she said.

“I know plenty. I’ve seen plenty with my own eyes,” Poe said earnestly. His expression softened. “And I’ve never seen anything like you, Jedi.”

She had no idea how to respond to that, and thankfully he didn’t make her. Poe cleared his throat noisily and turned away from the remains of the tree.

“That levitating rocks thing you did on Crait – that was okay,” he said glibly.

“You mean when I rescued you?” Rey commented in the same tone.

Poe let out a chuckle. “Okay, so that’s two I owe you.”

He started back down the stone path, and she stopped only long enough to pick up her pack before matching his pace. She looked back only once at the tree, determined not to dwell on yet another setback. Rey glanced at Poe then, grateful for his presence, but curious that he studiously avoided looking her way.

They walked back to camp in a companionable silence. This time he didn’t say a word.


	3. Chapter 3

Weeks passed on Ahch-To. The weather was growing colder and they saw sunshine only rarely. They had started rationing their supplies when no help was forthcoming from their allies, but no one had anticipated their stay would last this long. A dull routine descended upon the Resistance fighters and boredom settled in, despite the training drills that Poe led in an effort to keep up morale. In truth they did little to stave off his own frustration at their situation.

Rey learned of his interest in hand to hand combat and was keen to join them, and it wasn’t long before she was instructing the others more than Poe. He didn’t mind, even though her sessions did tend to leave him repeatedly flat on his back and longing for a bacta tank by the end. He cursed at how quick she was, especially if she used her quarterstaff.

They had taken to sparring together most days, long after the rest of the crew lost interest. More often than not, Finn and Rose accompanied them to a clearing that offered some protection from their activities. The ground was covered in a thick heather that cushioned (mostly Poe’s) falls, and saved them a few bruises. Rose was recovering well and, although too weak to join in, was happy to cheer from the sidelines...especially when it was Finn’s turn.

Poe and Finn were attacking each other gleefully with gnarled bone spikes that almost matched Rey’s staff in length. They’d discovered the remains days before – their origin some unknown creature – and its bony vestiges (Horns? Spines? They had no idea) were light but incredibly hardy. It was Finn’s idea to use them as sparring sticks.

Rey sat down next to Rose to watch them. The Resistance maintenance tech handed her a stash of berries she’d collected and Rey munched happily as the match ensued.

“There you go, old man!” shouted Finn as he managed to swipe Poe’s legs out from under him in a swift and unexpected maneuver.

Poe swore in a language Rey didn’t understand but his meaning was clear. He pushed himself off the ground and lunged after his sparring partner. While evenly matched in height and strength, it was Finn’s superior skill with a weapon that saw him best his friend more often than not. Though it didn’t stop Finn from bring up the almost ten year age gap between them, knowing how much Poe hated being reminded of it.

“Those boys,” Rose said, smiling to herself.

Rey grinned as the fight and the cussing continued. Poe stood victoriously over Finn for a brief moment before he copped another blow to his calves.

“ _Your_ boy, you mean,” Rey said, nodding at Finn.

Rey happily observed the growing closeness between Rose and Finn. It wasn’t difficult to see why he was so enamored – she was one of the kindest people Rey had ever met. Rose had been excited to meet Rey after everything Finn had told her, assuring her that they were going to be firm friends in no time. And she was right. Their shared love of all things mechanical gave them instant common ground, but somehow Rose knew how to be close to Rey without smothering her.

Rey’s attention was drawn back to the action. Poe managed an inelegant but well-timed wallop to the back of Finn’s knees that felled him.

“ _Our_ boys,” Rose countered. She grinned teasingly as she glanced at Rey who had clearly decided to ignore the comment.

It was true all four of them had become close, to Rey’s surprise. When she wasn’t training on her own – which felt more and more like a folly with nothing but the Jedi texts to go by – she was working with Rose on the _Falcon_ , discussing modifications that kept them occupied for hours until Chewbacca roared at them to get out. Or she was talking to Finn, mostly on long walks that would take them far from camp until he complained about the cold and wanted to get back to check on Rose. Or she was arguing with Poe, an increasingly common activity that always started out good-naturedly but would invariably end with Rey stalking off once she was frustrated with his smart mouth and competitive nature.

But the most fun she had was when the four of them spent time together like they were now. Rey had always loved listening to them talk and laugh, and increasingly she included herself in the conversations and jokes. For someone who’d grown up without a friend to call her own, she felt connected to all three of them and cherished their easy companionship.

Their battle done, both calling it a draw, Finn collapsed with his head in Rose’s lap, while Poe eased himself more gingerly to the ground near Rey and drained the rest of his canteen. She chuckled when she suggested it was her turn to take him on and he groaned in response.

“No more, I need sustenance,” he said, wiping a hand over the beard he’d been growing in.

Rey tossed a berry towards him which Poe artfully caught between his teeth. He smiled triumphantly at her as he chewed, then dissolved into a coughing fit when he inhaled some of the juices.

“Smooth,” commented Finn as Rey reached over to pound Poe soundly on the back.

When Poe was able to catch his breath he gestured rudely to Finn and muttered another alien expletive.

“You know I’m going to ask Threepio what that means,” Finn replied, nonplussed.

“I’ll tell you right now, pal,” a fiery Poe said, but stopped short when Rey and Rose laughed at him.

Instead he leaned back on his hands and groaned, noting the position of the suns in the sky that were visible for once. Close to midday. Their third week on Ahch-To. Still no news of help, though Leia was spending even more time on appeals to her former allies to maintain the Resistance.

She was having trouble contacting Maz Kanata who she felt sure would advocate for them, not tell them to keep hiding as the others did. Or worse, demand their location under the guise of offering supplies or ships that reeked of a First Order trap. Leia revealed their whereabouts to no one. But the worry and disappointment were taking their toll on her and she’d taken to working throughout the night when it was quiet and sleeping much of the day. Poe checked in with her daily but increasingly she withdrew from the happenings around camp and left it to him.

Poe sighed in frustration. While he enjoyed time with his friends the nagging feeling he should be doing more for the Resistance was ever present. It didn’t seem right to be sitting on a rock in the middle of a hidden ocean planet, while the First Order’s power and influence grew. Poe was anything but a patient man.

“If only we had another ship,” he said, his thoughts becoming words. “We could do reconnaissance missions without a target on our backs.”

Leia had forbidden any use of the _Millennium Falcon_ for any such trips, despite Poe having argued for it many times. The _Falcon_ was too well known to chance it, and as their last means of transport should they need it, they couldn’t risk losing the freighter.

“There is another ship,” Rey said suddenly after a silence had fallen.

“What? Where?” replied Poe, immediately animated.

“An X-wing. Luke’s X-wing.”

Poe’s eyes grew wide. “Do you mean to tell me we’ve been sitting on this island for weeks and all this time—”

“It’s underwater,” Rey clarified, cutting him off. “Luke sunk it when he arrived here years ago.”

Poe let out an angry breath, and muttered a string of swear words that all of them understood that time.

“Where is it, Rey? Can we go look?” Rose asked.

Rey nodded and got to her feet. She pointed down towards the coastline. “This way.”

“You sure you’re up for it?” Finn asked Rose quietly.

She nodded and took his hands as he helped her up and gathered their blanket. Rey was already walking away with Poe at her heels firing questions at her, after berating her for not telling them sooner. Finn kept hold of Rose’s hand as they followed their bickering friends.

0 0 0 0

Poe stared in amazement at the classic T-65 X-wing starfighter. The ship was as legendary as its pilot, especially to Rebellion brats like him. Finn and Rose joined them on the rocky outcrop, the latter out of breath despite walking much slower than usual. But she was equally enthralled at the sight of the ship under the clear blue water.

“Look at how intact it is,” she gasped.

“The power generators, antenna coils, repulsors, it’s all there,” said Poe excitedly. “Do you think she’d still fly?”

“Uh, guys, this thing’s been underwater what, seven years?” Finn said. “And, you know, it’s _underwater_.”

“The hull would probably be sound, if there’s no blast damage. They’re incredibly tough birds. It’s the internals that we’d need to work on,” said Rose, tucking her arm in Poe’s as they leaned over to get a better look.

Finn shot Rey a ‘do you believe these two?’ look, but she didn’t mind their enthusiasm even if the idea was a little implausible. The scavenger in her knew there was little that could be done to get the ship flying again, even though she’d never seen this sort of damage to any ship on her desert planet.

“There’s a whole S-foil panel missing there,” Rose said, pointing.

“I know where that is,” Rey piped up. It was currently propped up against the wall of Leia’s hut after its previous life as a crude door when Luke inhabited the space.

“What do you think, Rosie?” said Poe as he scratched at his chin. “Get the _Falcon_ ’s grappling hooks on the wings, and one on the nose?”

“Mmmm. It’d be slow work with the weight of the ship and water on board. We could modify the hooks with electro-magnetic mounts.”

“You two are nuts, you don’t actually think you could do this, do you?” argued Finn. “And even if you do it’ll be a pile of junk!”

“A pile of junk that blew up the first Death Star!” Poe exclaimed as he turned and clapped a firm hand on Finn’s shoulder.

“You’d know, old man,” Finn groused.

Poe ignored him and held out his arm again to Rose. “Excuse us, we have a rescue to plan.”

The two of them set off back to the camp, already in discussion. Poe kept a slow pace to ensure Rose’s comfort, the only reason Finn didn’t set off after them immediately.

“You had to go and tell the two Resistance die-hards about a sunken X-wing,” he grumbled to Rey.

“They just need a distraction,” she countered. “It’ll give them something to work on in their spare time.”  
  
It seemed to Rey they all had nothing but spare time, and she was also excited to get to do something, even if it meant salvaging parts of an old ship. _That_ she knew how to do.

“I was kinda hoping Rose would want to do other stuff with me in her spare time,” Finn admitted.

Rey frown for a moment, then simply said “oh” when realization dawned.

“Yeah, oh.”

“So the two of you are…” Rey didn’t know quite how to say it, not out loud.

“Well, not yet, not entirely, but that’s kind of the point.” Finn looked after Rose wistfully.

Rey had noticed a few times when they’d disappeared from camp together, returning later looking decidedly pleased with themselves. She’d been too embarrassed to ask either of them about it.

“How much time could they spend on it, really?” Rey said optimistically.

Finn just scowled in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor note: I’m making the assumption that Luke got his original X-wing back from Bespin some point after ESB, for sentimentality’s sake. :-)


	4. Chapter 4

It turned out that Rose and Poe could spend two days and nights planning the raising of the X-wing starfighter. From schematics to investigating the _Millennium Falcon_ ’s towing capabilities, and Rose’s modifications that had to be approved by Chewbacca, they worked tirelessly before settling on a course of action.

Finn pointed out they could save time if Rey just used the Force to raise the ship, but she said she couldn’t...and didn’t bother to confirm it when she stole away early the next morning to try. Nothing had happened, and once again she was frustrated at her lack of training. Though she wasn’t sure lifting X-wings from the ocean was part of Jedi School.

Poe and Rose’s last hurdle was convincing Leia to let them to use their only ship and precious fuel supply to carry it their plan. Rose had painstakingly calculated the impact on the _Falcon_ ’s resources, and stood nervously with Poe while the general reviewed the details.

“And what exactly do you intend to do with this ship in the unlikely event that this scheme works?” Leia asked.

“We fix it. At least, we try to fix it,” said Rose nervously, unused to addressing the legendary Resistance leader.

“It will give the group something to work towards, General,” Poe added. “At least until we have decided on our next move.”

Leia didn’t miss the edge to his voice, and knew how frustrated he was with their predicament. Poe was a man of action, and their extended stay was trying his patience even as he worked to temper his hotheadedness and be a better leader.

“Very well,” Leia said with a wave of her hand. “But stick to the plan – anything beyond these parameters is too risky.”

“Understood,” Poe said with a deferential nod of his head.

Rose just rocked on her heels and tried to hold her excitement in check. The General dismissed them both with a small smile, momentarily coveting their youth and enthusiasm.

“Thank you, Leia,” said Poe quietly by the door after Rose had rushed out to give Finn and Rey the news. He flashed her a winning smile.

“Get out,” she replied with her trademark mix of annoyance and affection.

It wasn’t until he was gone that Leia sat down heavily on her stone stool, her eyes becoming drained and unfocused.

 

0 0 0 0

 

They started at daybreak, Rose shouting orders at Rey and Finn while the last magnetic grappling hook was mounted on the _Falcon_ ’s hull, and Poe prepping the ship’s thrusters with a grumbling Wookiee and C-3PO to translate. Other Resistance members were there to help and more to watch, including Lieutenant Connix who’d promised Leia a prompt report.

Preparations complete, the handful of ground crew transferred onboard the ship and Rose gave Poe the all clear to take off. He eased the ship from its landing spot, pinching himself the whole time that he was piloting the _Millennium Falcon_...a childhood dream. He didn’t see the look that passed between Rey and Chewbacca, unaware of the deal she’d struck to allow him to fly it.

Within minutes they rounded the coastline to the X-wing’s location. The ship landed briefly to deposit the crew on a bare stretch of grass they could use to monitor progress, then took up position over the sunken starfighter.

On land, Rose got as close to the edge of the rocky outcrop that she dared, Finn anxiously hanging onto her belt from behind, and gave the word to Rey to drop the hooks.

Onboard the _Falcon_ , Rey controlled their steady progress. The wings were soon connected but the nose proved a little harder to snare. It didn’t help having both Rose and Poe prompting her with annoying suggestions so she switched off her headset and ignored them.

She let out a steadying breath, clearing her mind to focus only on the task at hand. Finally the magnetic plate connected and locked into place. Rey switched her comms back on so Rose could hear and told Poe to start their ascent.

Engaging the thrusters as gently as he could, Poe began to raise the _Falcon_ and the tension on the grappling hook cables went taut.

“That’s it! She’s moving!” exclaimed Rose.

Rey abandoned the cockpit for the ventral gun well so she could watch the action directly. She could see the movement of the X-wing below as the _Millennium Falcon_ ’s engines whined.

“Come on, baby, easy does it,” murmured Poe. He looked down with a concerned frown at the instrument panel in front of him. “How’s she looking, Rosie?”

Her answer was masked when Chewbacca made a guttural sound that turned into a roar as a warning light started flashing.

“Captain, Chewbacca says the engine temperature powering the aft thrusters is increasing at an alarming rate,” C-3PO chimed in from behind the Wookiee.

“I see that,” said Poe through gritted teeth. “Come on, you hunk of—”

Chewie barked again, silencing him.

“I see it! I see it!” yelled Rey over her headset.

“The nose is out!” cried Rose. They heard Finn whooping through the link.

Another alarm sounded in the cockpit and the _Falcon_ ’s engines made a noise that made Rey scramble back to the cockpit.

“That is not good,” she said as she took in the alarms and lights flashing all over the panels. “Shut it down, Poe.”

“We’ve almost got her,” he argued, continuing their upward trajectory.

It was then one of the wing cables snapped and the magnetic hook careened into the _Falcon_ ’s hull with a sickening thud. The X-wing tilted awkwardly for a moment, half out of the water, before the second cable snapped completely. Rey did not hesitate and slapped her hand over the release for the last cable and the X-wing splashed down and sank slowly back into its watery grave.

Chewie roared his disapproval and took over controls of the ship to guide it back to its original landing spot. Poe slammed his palms into the flight panel before slumping, dejected, into his seat.

“Oh dear, oh dear,” muttered C-3PO in the background.

Rose, Finn and the others were left to walk back to the _Falcon_ ’s berth where they were able to see the hull damage near the location of the first grappling hook and the still-steaming thrusters. Rose heard Chewbacca before she set eyes on him, then noticed too late that Connix was already making her way back to the camp to tell the general of their failure.

“We tried, kid,” said Poe as soon he saw her. He bit back his own bitter disappointment and put a comforting arm around Rose’s shoulder as she fought back tears.

“I thought we had it,” she whispered.

Finn exhaled loudly next to them and Rose shot him a warning look. He held up his hands innocently.

“Sorry, babe,” he said quietly instead.

Rey was busy placating Chewie who was bellowing about the gaping hole above his head.

“We’ll fix it, I promise,” she repeated several times.

Rose apologised to Chewbacca and then allowed Finn to lead her back to camp with the others. They trudged slowly up the stone steps, leaving Rey and Poe behind with a sulking Wookiee.

Rey went to stand with Poe who had said nothing more. He just stared blankly at the _Falcon_ ’s belly.

“I can run some diagnostics with Artoo,” she offered. “See where we went wrong.”

“Doesn’t matter, Leia won’t let us attempt it again after this.” He waved a hand at the damage that would require all of the spare panelling they had to fix it.

“It was worth a try,” she offered, hoping to elicit some positive response from him. She wasn’t used to this Poe.

“Was it?” Poe shot back at her, deep vertical lines creasing his brow.

He walked away without another word, not in the direction of the camp but back towards the strip of land that was supposed to house a salvaged X-wing at that moment. Rey watched him go, respecting the fact that he probably wanted to be alone. But then, compelled by a need she didn’t fully understand, she found herself throwing another apology Chewie’s way and following him up the path. Rey caught up with him quickly but didn’t say anything as they walked on. Neither did Poe.

When they arrived at the clearing he sat down heavily on the edge of the outcrop. Rey hesitated before taking a seat beside him, unsure what else to do. She peered over the edge and saw the X-wing in its familiar spot, as if nothing had happened.

She leaned back and paused again before glancing over at Poe. His features were still stony, his dark eyes set in a way that caused a curl of anxiety within her. She wished for the wisdom to say the right thing to make his usual demeanor return.

His voice, when he finally spoke some time later, made her jump.

“Did Rose tell you what happened when we evacuated our base on D’Qar?”

Rey frowned. She’d heard parts of stories, how they’d gotten into a slow chase with the First Order that led them to Crait. There had been so much loss that few liked to speak about the details of the evacuation or the battle that ensued, and Rey had never pressed Finn or Rose to tell her everything. And she had never asked Poe, realizing for the first time that maybe he’d needed to talk about it. She was his friend and that’s what friends were supposed to know.

“Tell me.”

Instead Poe smiled grimly and dropped his head.

“What is it?” she asked.

He turned towards her, a deep-seated sadness in his gaze. “I’m just thinking that as soon as I tell you this you won’t look at me the same way.”

Rey shook her head.

“You don’t know that,” he said. “Not until I tell you.”

She turned around to sit facing him and motioned for him to do the same.

“I’m here,” she said, reaching out for his hands and holding them gently. She had never done that with Poe, and she was surprised how easy it was, that she didn’t feel self conscious about it. She looked at him reassuringly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Poe let out a shaky breath. “Our evacuation was mostly complete when the First Order arrived. We had to stall for time to get the last of the transports onto the _Raddus_.”

He stopped and his eyes flicked away from her.

“There was a Dreadnought,” Rey prompted. “It was destroyed and the _Raddus_ got away.”

“Not before I led an entire squadron and our bombing fleet to their deaths,” Poe admitted, looking her square in the face as he did so. “Rose’s sister was a gunner on one of the bombers...the one that took down the Dreadnought. And she died. They all did.”

Rey masked her surprise. She’d known their losses were heavy in the fight but she’d never heard Poe mentioned as the cause. She wasn’t sure how to respond so she just let him talk.

“Leia had called us back, but I…I wanted to hit the First Order where it hurts. I wanted the Dreadnought. So I disobeyed a direct order, and they’re dead because of it. All I got was a demotion.”

He tried to swallow but found his mouth was dry. “Leia wants me to lead, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that with their blood on my hands.”

“Poe—” She was struck dumb by the despair that seeped from him, that was quickly turning to anger.

“Then when Leia was recovering, I thought I knew better than the admiral in charge and I led a mutiny,” he went on. “My whole adult life I’ve served the Republic and this Resistance, and I betrayed all of that. For what? I’m stuck on this kriffing island, hiding from an enemy we have no hope of defeating. We can’t even get any of our allies to help us! We can’t even raise a junky old ship from a few meters of water!”

His jaw clenched. “I have never been more useless in my entire life.”

Rey let out a long breath. “Poe, do you need reminding—”

“Don’t,” he warned, dropping her hands. “Don’t tell me all the other shit I’ve done makes up for it. It doesn’t.”

“Then I don’t know what you want me to say,” Rey admitted quietly.

“I don’t want you to say anything. I just want you to know the truth about me. You deserve the truth.” His eyes bored into hers, seeking her reaction at the same time as dreading it.

Rey realized he was waiting for her to push him away, to forget their friendship and think badly of him. She understood the high cost of his failures but she also knew he had been fighting for the Resistance, for all of them, and doing what he thought was best at the time to further their cause. He didn’t fight for power or greed, he fought for Leia and the hope that the Resistance stood for.

Her gaze faltered as she contemplated everything she had never told Poe – what really happened on Snoke’s ship, her connection with Kylo Ren…and just how close she came to succumbing to the dark side if it meant staying with him. Rey wasn’t sure if she had the courage to confess that to anyone, let alone Poe who told her she was incredible. She wasn’t sure she could face him thinking otherwise. So she kept her eyes down.

“So now you know, Jedi,” he said in response to this reaction, then abruptly got to his feet and walked away from her.

Rey didn’t call out to him. As much as she hated seeing the turmoil and remorse in Poe, she understood it. It wasn’t something that could be fixed with platitudes, and if it was she didn’t know them. She didn’t know how to help him, and once again she felt alone. A nobody from nowhere.

But she wouldn’t be led to the darkness. Rey shifted to face the edge of the cliff once more, her gaze returning to the water. As she settled cross-legged she tried to quieten her thoughts and emotions. The Jedi texts talked about the importance of meditation and she recalled Luke’s brief lesson on reaching out with the Force. Rey slowed her breathing and let herself feel…all of it.

_The ground beneath her, the sky above. The wind, the rain, the sunshine. Every living creature on the island. Every spark of life. The Caretakers, the Resistance fighters, her friends._

It washed over her like waves, and with each one she felt calmer and more centered. She felt Leia’s presence, a beacon of light that pulsed in the Force. She felt the familiar warmth of her friends...their kindness, their laughter, their acceptance.

_They don’t know everything._

Rey frowned and refocused her efforts, ignoring the shadowy thought.

_A porg nestles into Chewie’s fur as he sleeps. Finn and Rose sit by the fire, their fingers entwined. Poe smiles, warm and familiar, before it fades into sadness. The X-wing sinks underwater after breaching the ocean for such a short time._

Then Rey heard it...the whisper. There were no words, just sounds she couldn’t comprehend but knew were for her. It was an echo of a voice she didn’t recognize but with which she was somehow familiar.

_The ship is on land, its cockpit alight. It rises steadily in the air away from the island before sinking slowly into black, swirling waters._

In a blur Rey saw it rise once more, then fall back into the water, again and again as the whispers grow louder. She extended both arms towards it and felt the cold, black water surrounding the ship, tides rolling in and out in an endless cycle. The ship rose again, slowly this time, so slowly while the waves below and clouds above swirled with ever increasing speed. The whispering surrounded her...she felt it brush against her cheek and penetrate her skin. It felt warm, glowing, comforting.

Then…silence. The whispers were gone, the light faded, and a cold wind whipped against her body. Rey’s eyes opened slowly and she saw a gray sky, clouds hiding most of the twin suns which were now low in the sky. She blinked, recognizing that hours must have passed, but not feeling quite ready to return to her full senses to acknowledge it.

Then she heard a noise – a voice. Rey turned to find Poe staring not at her but at the clearing behind her, his expression one of shock. She turned her head to follow his gaze and saw the X-wing, landing gear extended on the grass, with water still dripping from its fuselage.

Poe stumbled a few steps forward, gaping at the ship, then dropped to his knees.

“What did you do?” he stammered.

Rey pushed herself up, not believing what she was seeing. She walked forward and placed her hand on the creaking hull to convince herself it was real. She tried to remember what had happened, what she felt and saw, what the whispering sounded like, the warmth within her, but it was fading too fast for her mind to hold onto.

She turned to find Poe was now staring at her in awe. It was a familiar, chest-tightening look that he’d given her on Crait. Rey noticed the light in his hand, slack at his side, and realized that he had come looking for her before nightfall.

She kneeled down in front of him. His eyes blazed, raking over her face.

“How did you do this?” he whispered.

“I don’t know,” she confessed, ever honest. “But I think I did it for you.”

Poe inhaled, then shook his head and frowned.

“I can never—,” he said, then stopped and swallowed audibly. “You give so much. How can any of us ever do anything for you in return?”

Rey’s eyes widened in surprise that he had to ask. “You already have. You’ve given me the only thing I’ve ever wanted – a place to belong. People I care about, who care about me.”

She threw her arms around his shoulders in a swift move that surprised them both. Rey felt him return the embrace without hesitation, one hand cradling the back of her head.

“You’ve given me everything,” she breathed softly, and smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

The mood in the Resistance camp was markedly brighter after the recovery of Luke Skywalker’s X-wing starfighter. It served as a glimmer of hope that all was not lost, and a reminder of the past when the Rebellion prevailed over the Empire. It energized the group for the first time since their arrival at Ahch-To.

On hearing the news, Leia made the journey to the clearing and wasn’t ashamed of the tears that quickly formed when she saw her brother’s ship. She held onto Chewbecca’s hairy arm and gazed at the familiar X-wing, memories flooding her senses. Rey stood close by, and Poe behind her, both moved by Leia’s reaction.

”Thank you, Rey,” the general said and reached out a hand to the grasp hers. Then Leia turned her attention to the group that had gathered. “Well, what are you standing around for? You have a lot of work to do.”

Rose didn’t need to be told twice. She had officially been put in charge of leading the restoration and was already assigning tasks to the crew. While much of the ship’s wiring was covered in protective casing and useable, other parts had been completely rotted by the ocean and would have to be rebuilt or replaced. The cockpit was also damaged by fire – not from battle but rather it seemed to have been deliberately burned by Luke, destroying much of the interior.

Within days the repairs were well underway and the camp was a hive of activity. They stripped the salvageable parts and set up a production line, scrubbing what they could using grease supplied by the Caretakers that smelled awfully fishy but no one protested. When it rained they huddled inside the stone huts and worked by torchlight, sharing stories of past battles and the heroes that fought them. More than once, Rey's accomplishments were mentioned by those who had witnessed them, as they sat in awe of the Jedi in their midst who had singlehandedly raised the X-wing they were now working on. 

Rey, unaware of her new status among the rebels, was determined to use all her scavenging knowledge to reroute what non-essential systems they could to get the X-wing flying again. She worked with Rose on creative alternatives and bypasses where a fix or replacement component wasn’t an option. They enlisted the help of Nien Nunb who had the most experience with the T-65, and consulted R2-D2's archives. But even with all their work some components were too far gone, and they didn’t have the spare parts on the _Millennium Falcon_.

“You know this is a waste of time, right?” Finn said to Rey as they stood in the X-wing clearing and reviewed the ship’s schematics on a holopad.

“Maybe, maybe not,” she replied. She glanced over at Poe who was working with Chewbacca to reattach the S-foil that Luke had been using as a door.

Whether the X-wing would actually fly again was secondary to the happiness that Poe’s newfound exuberance brought her. His back was straighter and head higher than it had been since arriving on the island. Though they hadn’t discussed it directly, in fact they’d barely spoken at all, Rey knew he had found his hope again.

“Don’t listen to him,” Rose said as she handed Rey a newly scrubbed compressor she'd brought back from the camp.

Rey left them to it as Finn continued to argue for pragmatism, and climbed the ladder to the X-wing cockpit. She glanced at Poe on the wing, smiling briefly when he lifted the soldering mask from his face to reveal dark, sweaty hair that was falling into his eyes. He grinned at her before snapping the mask back in place when Chewie grunted at him.

Rey busied herself with the task at hand, trying not be distracted by the flash of white teeth with a little gap in the middle that was burned into her brain for the time being. When that didn’t work she opted for more manual labor, and spent the next hour buried in the nose of the ship cleaning out more gunk.

When she finally emerged Finn took one look at her then waved a hand in front of his face and wrinkled his nose. When she sniffed at her arm she realized how pungent the kelp aroma was, but it didn’t stop her from hurling a few choice expletives at him.

The S-foil now in place, Poe jumped down from the wing. They were all pretty ripe and, as rain was threatening to stop work anyway, he suggested a trip to the _Millennium Falcon_ to use the refresher. Rey swiped at her forehead, leaving even more grease behind, and Finn agreed they should all go.

As they packed up their tools Rose decided that she was tired and wanted to head back to camp. Finn, ever concerned about her recovery, commented worriedly that she’d been pushing herself too hard. But Rose hushed him and looked pointedly at Rey and Poe who were now examining the landing gear.

“Theycangoontheirown,” Rose said through gritted teeth.

“Huh?” Finn frowned, but she rolled her eyes and pushed him away.

If Finn was oblivious, Rose had seen how they looked at each other when they thought the other wouldn’t notice. How Poe would silently hand over his leftovers when they had a meal Rey particularly enjoyed, or how in camp he was never far from her side as she got more comfortable being around so many people. Not to mention how they shared a parental affection for BB-8 that was endearing.

“Do you need a hand, Rose?” Poe called out.

Rose glared at Finn some more until he seemed to understand.

“Nah, it’s okay, I got her,” he said. “You two go clean up.”

“Chewie, do you mind helping with these?” Rose had another pile of stripped parts to be taken back to camp.

Rey looked up in time to see Rose give her a wink that she was unable to decipher, then she and Poe were alone for the first time in days. She wondered if he had been intentionally keeping his distance but wasn’t sure how to ask without it sounding accusatory. Nothing about his demeanor suggested it, even if he was tugging at his shirt sleeves now and not looking at her directly.

They made easy enough small talk as they walked down to the _Falcon_. Rey ran through the litany of ideas she had for the X-wing, only some of which Poe understood. When they arrived at the ship and were greeted by R2-D2, he insisted she take the first shower. Rey soon found herself standing appreciatively under the hot water, stripping away layers of grime, and unknotting sore muscles from training. When she emerged, clean and pink from the heat and in fresh clothes she kept on board, she found Poe in the cockpit like the predictable pilot he was, deep in reverie.

“Comfortable?” she asked with a smirk, taking a seat in the co-pilot’s chair that still bore a tear from an errant porg.

“Yeah,” he breathed, his gaze running over the instrument panel.

Rey didn’t understand Rose’s winks but this reaction she did. She looked around the cockpit with fresh eyes, marveling how beautiful it was. She smiled at the memory of flying the _Falcon_ for the first time, when even during the stress of the skirmish she’d felt an exhilaration like no other. She glanced over to find Poe looking at her, his eyes unfathomable depths, before he excused himself to take his turn in the ‘fresher.

While Poe cleaned up Rey distracted herself by chatting with R2-D2 about the T-65, utilizing the astromech’s long history with Luke’s X-wing.

A short time later Poe was dressed and rubbing his head with a towel when he returned to the main hold.

“Ugh, I need a haircut,” he grumbled, pulling at the length that reached past the base of his neck when his curls were loose.

R2-D2 beeped in agreement, but when Poe looked up he found the lounge seating empty. Then he spotted Rey crouched underneath the dejarik table inspecting its opened access panel.

“How attached do you think Chewie is to this game?” she mused. “I bet we could strip out the circuitry and repurpose it for the X-wing.”

Poe grinned. “I think you’re probably the only person brave enough to find out.”

“He’d do it for Leia.”

“For you too, I’d bet.”

Rey smiled to herself, not denying her attachment to the loyal Wookiee. She disappeared into another part of the ship just long enough to find a handful of tools and a light to continue her exploration. Before resuming her position under the table she handed him a pair of scissors.

“Here,” she said.

“What are these for?”

“You said you wanted to cut your hair. These were in the med-kit.”

“Thanks, Jedi,” Poe said looking down at them. “You, uh, couldn’t help me with that, could you?”

In the shadows of the dejarik table Rey’s eyes widened in surprise. She had never cut anyone else’s hair – just her own when it got too unwieldy and she would hack off a chunk of plait using an old pair of shears she’d found. But she found herself agreeing to it anyway, and liking the fact that he’d asked.

Rey spend the next half-hour concentrating on the task, a slight frown on her face as she tried to evenly cut his curly hair. Poe left the length up to her entirely, saying that he trusted her judgment. In fact he was no help at all, sitting with his eyes closed peacefully while she worked. It gave her time to study him closer than she’d dared before – the single pockmark on one cheek, the faint pink scar on the other, the freckles that dotted his nose and eyelids. She found herself cataloging all of it. He looked at her through hooded eyes just once before her focus returned immediately to his fringe and she snipped away.

The end result was shorter than she’d intended and, in truth, a little lopsided at the back, but Poe was happy with the results when he inspected her handiwork in the ‘fresher. He took a moment to trim his beard to match his new grooming.

“Do I pass muster?” he said, posing for her when he returned.

“Ah, yep,” Rey mumbled, turning her attention to the holo-table.

“Want some help there?”

“No, it can wait. I need to talk to Chewie first anyway.”

She busied herself with the tools while Poe waited. He tried making small talk again but she found herself not wanting to be drawn into conversation this time. It was a strain on their friendly dynamic which he put down to everything he’d confessed to her, regretting all of it, and something she was too confused about to deal with.

They returned to camp together in relative silence, too wrapped up in their own thoughts. But all of that was forgotten when they became aware of a frisson of energy in the group, and both of them were immediately alert for any danger.

“Is it the First Order?” Poe demanded, grabbing Finn by the arm.

“It’s a _party_!” exclaimed Rose. “We’re all invited.”

“What?” Rey and Poe said in unison.

“The Caretakers… something call the Festival of Return,” Finn explained. “It’s tonight in their village and they asked Leia and the rest of us to go.”

Rey wondered if she’d rather it _had_ been a fight of some kind. She thought back to when she had broken down the villagers’ gate and stormed their monthly feast, after Luke let her believe they were in danger.

“It’s going to be fun,” Rose went on. “We could use a night to celebrate, don’t you think?”

Rey wanted to point out that, objectively, they probably didn’t have much to celebrate, but she didn’t want to dampen everyone’s mood. It was clear the Resistance members were excited about the prospect of a night away from camp.

“What about working on the ship?” demanded Poe.

Rey nodded, more than happy to avoid the social occasion. “We could get started on the flashback suppressors.”

“Shut up the both of you, you’re going,” said Rose bossily. “Come on, Rey, you can help me get ready.”

Rose grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into their hut. Poe watched as Rey threw him a fleeting glance then turned to find Finn staring at him through narrowed eyes.

“What?” Poe asked, a strange hint of nervousness in his voice at Finn’s expression.

“What happened to your hair, man?” Finn grimaced sympathetically at him and walked away.

 

0 0 0 0

 

The Caretakers’ village, comprising a collection of huts near the water’s edge, was festooned with glowing torches and phosphorescent kelp. The Resistance, led by Leia on Chewbacca’s arm, filed through the driftwood gates. Lively music played as they were greeted with welcome cheers from the island natives and their neighboring male companions who had arrived to celebrate as they did each month. A large fire crackled merrily in the center of the village and tables of food had been set up, offering generous servings of different fare from their usual fish and ration packs.

Having made peace with the non-Jedi Outsiders, the Caretakers pulled each of them forward to join the party. One of the male Lanai captains rolled out a wooden keg containing an alcoholic beverage that, despite its distinct aroma of the sea, went down smoothly after three or four mouthfuls.

Everyone joined in the festivities, eager for the break in their routine, but also to show their gratitude to the Caretakers and celebrate the fact they’d made it this far. Leia sat and watched her crew, jovially tapping her cane in time with the music.

Before long Poe and a few of the others were dancing a kind of jig with the island matrons. He tried to get Rey to join in but she waved him off. She was content to watch the rebels enjoy themselves, though her gaze sought out Poe among the group the majority of the time. He looked less burdened than she’d ever seen him, and she couldn’t help but be drawn to him.

When the music ended Poe broke away thankfully and he came to stand beside her while he caught his breath. A mug of grog was thrust into his hand by a passing C’ai Threnalli who clearly had already sampled it a few times.

Poe gave her shoulder a nudge. “You should dance, Jedi.”

“I wouldn’t know how,” she replied, though it clearly wasn’t difficult judging by the random movements of the Resistance members who had joined in. Then she realized they were missing two. “Have you seen Finn and Rose?”

Poe shrugged before his expression shifted and he nodded towards the gate. Rey looked over in time to see them sneaking out of the village hand in hand. She watched them go with a smile, but at the same time she felt an envious pull at her stomach.

“Where do you think they’re going?” said Poe conspiratorially, close to her ear.

She didn’t bother replying, feeling her cheeks grow warm and blaming the fire. It was clear Finn and Rose weren’t the only ones pairing up in the small Resistance band. There were a few couples dancing and touching as the music continued. A dark-haired junior pilot whose name Rey forgot tried to entice Poe to dance again but he demurred before she moved on to grasp Nien’s hand instead. Poe’s head bobbed in time to the music as he watched the others.

“Why’d you say no?” asked Rey. The dark-haired pilot was pretty, and she’d seen Poe talking with her before.

“Fraternizing with subordinates... never a good idea,” he said dismissively.

“Never?”

“Not anymore,” he admitted. “I learned my lesson. A few times.”

Rey decided she didn’t want to know the details, though her curiosity was piqued. She looked around the other officers.

“Well, there’s always Commander D’Acy,” she said, nodding towards the older blonde woman who was chatting with the general.

“Okay,” he replied with a chuckle.

“And Leia told me that when the Jedi joined the Rebellion they were granted the rank of commander. So I guess that technically makes me Commander Rey.” She nudged him in the ribs. “See, not everyone is your subordinate.”

Poe turned to her with a grin and Rey blushed deeply when she realized how he might interpret what she’d said. But he seemed to only take it as a joke, to her relief.

“That’s true, Jedi. Especially as Leia bumped me down to captain and hasn’t reinstated me yet. You outrank me.”

“Really? I thought she changed her mind – she’s let you take charge of things around camp. Didn’t you ask her to reinstate you?”

“No, I deserved it.”

Rey thought about this for a moment. “So does that mean I can order you to do whatever I want? Like scrub out the X-wing cargo hold?”

“Honestly, you can pretty much order me to do anything and I would.” Poe was still watching the revelers and didn’t look at her.

She smiled to herself, filing away this new piece of information.

Hours later when everyone was tired from dancing and the potent grog had been replaced by a far more drinkable mead, the Lanais and Resistance team sat around the fire listening as the male villagers sang bawdy sea shanties. At least, they sounded bawdy judging by the Caretakers’ reactions, but C-3PO had already retired with the general and a few of the other officers so there was no one to translate.

“Poe, it’s your turn,” yelled C’ai from across the flames.

“No thanks,” he replied with a firm shake of his head.

There were calls and hollers for him to sing that only increased the more he objected. At his side, Rey turned to look at him in surprise. She’d heard him humming as they worked on the X-wing but not singing. She was intrigued. And only a little tipsy, she reasoned.

“Captain, remember what you said earlier? If I ordered you…”

He threw her a traitorous glare but she just grinned in response.

“All right, all right,” Poe said, standing up to the cheers of the others. He pointed at a few of the crew. “But you all need to join in.”

Poe started singing a tune that Rey didn’t recognize but it caused instant smiles and nods from the Resistance fighters. She was stunned at how beautiful he sounded, having had no idea he was capable of it. It was a slower song about friends coming home from battle and it wasn’t long before the others started singing too. C’ai harmonized loudest of all which made Poe smile as he glanced back at Rey. She wasn’t able to hide the look of amazement on her face which seemed to make his eyes shine even more.

There were toasts from the Lanais and claps from the Resistance fighters when he sat back down at the song’s conclusion. Poe accepted the mead Rey offered him and took a sip. She didn’t know what to say to him and was saved when C’ai stood up, towering over the seated villagers and guests, and belted out an Abednedo ditty that had the few who understood the words, Poe included, laughing.

When they finally bid their hosts goodbye, the remaining Resistance crew began the long walk back to camp. Some were a little worse for wear and needed help, but everyone agreed it had been a worthy celebration. Rey wondered if Rose would be disappointed she had missed out on so much of it, then figured that neither she nor Finn would probably feel too bad if it meant they got to spend some proper alone time together.

Rey and Poe drifted back from the others as they followed the moonlit stone path. She was happily warm inside and out, oblivious to the drop in temperature, and refused Poe’s jacket when it was offered. Feeling none of the awkwardness from that afternoon, she tucked her hand into the crook of his arm which elicited a small smile.

“Thank you for singing. Everyone loved it,” she said as they walked along. “I’m not sorry I made you do it. Where’d you learn that song?”

“My Dad taught me, something from his Alliance days,” Poe replied. “My mother taught me to fly but my father taught me just about everything else.”

When Rey didn’t respond he glanced at her and mumbled a hasty apology.

“For what?” she asked in surprise.

“For always telling you about my family.”

“But I like it.”

Rey supposed it should make her feel sad, but she liked imagining him as a boy learning to fly on his mother’s lap. She was happy he’d never had to scrounge for food or fear for his safety at night, alone and afraid. She took comfort in the fact his parents loved him. He was so easy to love, she thought, in something of a revelation.

Poe’s other hand came to rest on hers briefly. She felt a swirl of emotion, something that used to make her nervous, but increasingly she found she liked it. She had missed him in the preceding few days, and didn’t want there to be any discord between them.

Rey wasn’t sure if it was the mead she’d consumed or his warm proximity but she felt unexpectedly emboldened.

“So, Captain, I’ve been thinking about my title,” she said, her voice light.

“What about it, Jedi?”

“I mean the other one. Commander. I don’t think I want it.”

“Why not?” Poe said, frowning. “You’ve earned it. Many times over.”

"I guess I was thinking... I mean, if the opportunity..." Rey swallowed hard, choosing her words deliberately. “What if I want to fraternize with a subordinate?”

Poe laughed in response but it was mirthless, covering his instant dismay that she could have her eye on someone in the crew and he’d missed it.

“Is that funny?” she asked, pulling her hand away quickly.

The loss of contact caused him to stop and glance at her.

“No, it’s just—” Poe started, then a strange look came over him as he took in her expression.

Rey stood there, clearly mortified, barely able to meet his eyes. One thought became two, then five, then about a hundred as her meaning became to clear to him. 

“Kriff, no. Rey…” Poe’s brain and mouth chose that inconvenient moment to lose all ability to string words together in a coherent sentence.

“Forget I said anything, I’m sorry,” she said, cursing herself silently. She turned to keep walking.

“Wait, wait.” Poe clutched her arm. “Just wait, please. Do you mean—”

“Hey, you two!” C’ai called out from the group ahead of them. “What are you doing back there? Catch up!”

Rey didn’t hesitate and slipped away to join them, leaving Poe standing alone and adrift, feeling like the planet was off its axis.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Rey woke just after dawn, barely hours since she’d returned to camp with the Resistance crew. As they bedded down she’d managed to slip away before anyone, specifically Poe, had noticed she was gone. She spent the night not in the _Millennium Falcon_ which would be the first place he’d look for her, if he bothered, but instead made her way to the Jedi temple atop the island.

Rey had been reluctant to return there – it somehow felt wrong without Master Luke. But her need for solace and shelter outweighed her reservations, and she spent a restless few hours on the cold floor of the temple.

The gray sky was beginning to lighten as she made her way out to the meditation ledge, hoping the calm of the dawn would bring her mind some peace. Instead she felt a different and more jarring sensation which stole the breath from her lungs. As she drew closer to the stone ledge she only grew more certain. Rey reached out with both hands to touch the surface and knew it was the spot where Luke had taken his last breath and passed into the Force.

She had sensed when it happened while they were still on Crait, as had Leia, but this feeling was more raw, almost tangible. And though she was sure his actual passing had been peaceful, it did nothing to stop the emotion from escaping from her in sobs that suddenly wracked her frame. Luke was only part of it, she knew. The rest was everything else that was conflicting her, everything else she had the sudden urge to run away from but had nowhere to go.

Rey lay down on the ledge as tears continued to fall, one cheek pressed to the stone. The suns rose higher and glimpses of blue sky appeared between the heavy clouds as she tempered her breathing, concentrating on each deep inhalation and long exhalation, without a sense of time passing. It wasn’t until she felt the tug at the edge of the Force, the tap-tap of intrusion in her mind that she sat up wearily and refocused her vision.

She heard it again, and realized the tapping sound was real. Rey looked up in surprise as Leia emerged from the gloom of the cavern grasping her cane, wrapped in a long cloak.

“You couldn’t have picked an easier spot to hide away?” she asked drolly. “I’m an old woman, you know.”

Rey scrambled up and wiped her face. “How did you…”

“I confess, I had a little help. Chewie.” Leia motioned over her shoulder where he was waiting outside the cavern. “I could get used to travelling by Wookiee.”

“I’m sorry, did you need me?” Rey asked quietly, ashamed that she’d made Leia come looking for her.

“I think I’m supposed to ask you that. Except I know the answer.”

Rey blinked away fresh tears when Leia smiled kindly at her, before the general’s attention was drawn to the ledge. The same recognition flashed across her face and she walked forward slowly before sinking down to sit on the stone. Leia laid her hand on the flat surface.

“Luke,” she whispered. Her eyes closed reverently, and she said nothing more for several minutes.

When she looked at Rey again, Leia’s gaze was stronger than she expected. She rose to her feet and walked back inside the temple, Rey following close behind. Leia paused by the mosaic built into the floor of the sacred cavern, before finding a suitable rock to sit once more. She patted the space beside her. Rey sat down facing the general, her eyes downcast.

“I haven’t been much help to you.” Leia sighed softly. “To any of you. Not since we arrived here.”

“That’s not true, General—”

“It is, Commander. And for the purposes of this conversation I think we should drop the military titles.”

Rey looked up, wary but intrigued.

“This past month has been difficult for me,” Leia said. “I’m used to loss. My whole life I’ve experienced so much of it that I thought I’d be prepared. But first Han, then Luke. It doesn’t seem right that they’re gone and I’m still here.”

Leia's fingertips brushed over the ornate ring she wore. “I almost wasn’t. I should have died on the _Raddus_. But I have fought so long and so hard I guess this old body wasn’t quite ready to go.

“Not when there’s still work to be done if the Resistance is going to stand any chance against the First Order,” she went on. “We need to plead our case to our remaining allies, because if we don’t everything we’ve fought for is truly lost. So I need to go to them, and I want you to come with me, Rey.”

“Me?”

“I’ve made enemies throughout the New Republic – not quite as many as allies, I hope, but enough that I would be grateful to have a Jedi by my side.”

Rey dropped her gaze again, but Leia lifted her chin with a single crooked finger.

“I don’t know how to be what you need me to be,” Rey confessed.

“Yes, you do. I know you do. You know it here,” Leia said, pressing her palm to Rey’s chest.

“But there’s so much I have to learn. And there’s no one to teach me. And…” Rey gulped, but kept going before she lost her nerve. “I know there’s darkness in me. I’m afraid. I’m afraid I’ll end up like—”

“Like my son,” Leia finished for her.

Rey nodded, wiping at her eyes.

Leia breathed deeply. “There’s darkness in all of us. Darkness and light. We’re all imperfect beings, Rey. Luke knew that, although he wasn’t the best at admitting it. The other Jedi, too. They failed just as much as they succeeded. But your destiny is your own, what _you_ will make of it. ”

“With what? I have nothing,” Rey said in a small voice.

“No. You have me. You have your friends. People who care for you, who will help you find your purpose. Don’t push them away like Luke did. Like Ben. They can be your strength, not your weakness. And you have this.”

Leia reached into the folds of her cloak and withdrew a silver-handled lightsaber. Rey drew in a sharp breath as Leia placed the Jedi weapon in her hands.

“Where did you—”

“It was Luke’s. He made it himself before the Battle of Endor, before his last battle with the Emperor…and our father. He had it here this whole time. The Caretakers found it after he…after he passed…and stored it away until they gave it to me last night. They thought I should have it, but I’m no Jedi. I never was, nor wanted to be. The lightsaber is yours.”

Rey turned it over in her hand, testing the grip and the weight. After an encouraging nod from Leia, she stood and ignited the saber, staring at its bright green blade in awe. It cut through the air with a familiar hum, feeling so right in her hand it was like a part of her. Rey switched it off, and clutched it to her. She dropped to her knees in front of the general.

“Thank you, Leia.”

“It’s as it should be. You’ll need it for what I am going to ask you to do.”

“Of course, anything.” Rey took hold of Leia’s hand when she reached out.

Leia’s grip was as firm as her gaze. “I need you to kill Kylo Ren.”

Rey felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Her hand slipped from Leia’s.

“But, you said—,” Rey said weakly, “you said there’s darkness and light in all of us.”

“Not him, not anymore. Kylo Ren killed the last of my son when he killed Han. There’s nothing left of Ben.”

“No, I’ve felt it…the conflict in him,” Rey protested. “When I was on Snoke’s ship—”

“That monster is not my boy,” said Leia, low and determined.

“It was Ben who killed Snoke. He did it to protect me, I’m sure of it.”

“Then he took his place as Supreme Leader after you escaped.”

Rey couldn’t find the words to explain, to describe how she’d woken first after they’d fought over the lightsaber. He was still unconscious and she could have taken one of the guard’s weapons and finished him then. But she didn’t, she couldn’t. Something inside had stopped her.

“I know what he did, what he’s done,” she tried once more. “But if I face him again, if there’s still good in him…I have to try and save him.”

Leia’s eyes drooped in sadness. “And if there’s not?”

“If I face Kylo Ren and I know Ben is gone, I will strike him down,” Rey declared, the steadiness of her voice matching her gaze.

“Swear it to me, Commander.”

“I swear, General.”

The two women shared a look that was stronger than any words.

“And now, you and I have work to do.” Leia rose slowly to her feet. “Tomorrow we’ll leave for Barkhesh – we still have contacts there. Then we keep going until we secure the help we need to re-form our Resistance.”

“All of us?”

“Just Chewie for now, and my droids. We’ll send for the others as soon as we can.”

Rey immediately felt a pang at leaving Finn and Rose, and Poe. She didn’t want to think about leaving Poe, even if he didn’t want her. 

“Tomorrow we take back this fight,” said Leia as she cast her eyes around the Jedi temple. “We ignite the flame.”

 

  
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Rey was lost in thought as she followed Leia and Chewbacca back to camp. Luke’s lightsaber swung at her hip, a reassuring presence that she found she desperately needed after everything the general had asked of her.

“Rey, you’re back!” Rose exclaimed as soon as they arrived. She rushed to her side and kept her voice low. “Is everything all right? What happened last night? Poe—”

It took Rey a moment to concentrate on what she was saying. She just shook her head, unable to talk about it. She was saved from having to do so when Leia asked Lieutenant Connix to round up the rest of the camp so the general could address them.

“Where is Dameron?” asked Leia, after most of the group had gathered.

“He and Finn were out looking…” Rose glanced hastily at Rey, “...for something. Beebee-Ate has already called them back.”

The droid beeped an affirmative, and confirmed their arrival a few minutes later when the two men jogged back into camp. The relief on his face when a breathless Poe spotted Rey in the group was soon replaced by concern when he saw her pale, drawn features.

“Thank you both for joining us,” Leia said derisively. She looked around the Resistance fighters, one or two of whom were clearly feeling the effects of the previous evening’s celebration in the Caretakers’ village. “To the rest of you as well. Thank you for your work here, and your patience. I hope that our wait will soon be over.”

Rey barely listened as Leia repeated her plans to leave Ahch-To in search of their allies. There were murmurs of dissent when the general confirmed they would not all be leaving, and Rey dared a quick glance at Poe who was still staring at her. His eyes dropped to the new lightsaber on her belt before meeting hers again, his expression dark and unreadable.

Leia confirmed their departure the following day, then dismissed the crew to return to their work on the X-wing. Poe tried to make a beeline for Rey but stopped when Rose took her by the hand and led her into their hut, Finn close behind. Frustration mounting, he opted to confront the general instead.

“I should be going too,” he stated without preamble as he barged into her hut.

Leia looked up from her seat next to Commander D’Acy, her lips setting in a firm line. “Give us a minute,” she murmured to the other woman.

Poe tried to control his temper as the commander departed, but Leia’s stony visage was having the opposite effect on him.

“You’re just going to leave us here?” he shot at her.

“I’m going to find those still loyal to the New Republic,” Leia explained as patiently as she could. “We have no other choice, Poe. I have to go in person.”

“Then I should go too,” he repeated.

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “You think so, do you?”

“What if you need another pilot?”

“I have two – and Chewie and Rey have more experience flying the _Falcon_ than you do. Come to think of it, so do I.”

“You know what I mean, General.”

“I know you like to be part of the action. And that remaining with the rest of the group feels like a punishment. But I need you here. I need someone I trust to lead the camp in my absence.”

“So give it to D’Acy, Nunb, any of them.”

Leia stood to face him properly. “It needs to be you, Commander.”

“Captain,” Poe replied petulantly.

The general smiled then reached up to place a hand on his cheek, patting it affectionately a few times before slapping him. Hard.

“You’re promoted,” Leia said, eyes twinkling.

Poe let out an exasperated breath, biting back a colorful expletive, but her expression had grown serious once more.

“I need you to do this for me, Poe. If something happens to me...to us…you’re going to be the one to lead them.”

“If something happens to you—,” Poe breathed, but he couldn’t continue the thought, not when he imagined Rey in danger. He continued to scowl, tension evident in his jaw. “Why her?”

“Why bring a Jedi along? I would have thought that was obvious.”

“She’s said it herself, she’s not ready,” he argued. “She’s barely started her training.”

“You know as well as I do what Rey is capable of, what an asset she is to this Resistance.”

“It’s a mistake, General. You shouldn’t take her with you.”

A shadow cast across the entrance to the hut and Poe turned to see Rey standing behind him. He didn’t have to wonder if she’d heard what he’d said – the betrayal written all over her face told him that.

“That will be all, Commander,” Leia intoned. “Rey and I have details to discuss.”

“Rey, I—” he started, but she ignored him and moved to Leia’s side.

He looked back at them both, but only the general acknowledged him as he reluctantly ducked outside.

Poe looked around the camp he was stuck in, hating the very sight of it, but hating himself even more.


	7. Chapter 7

“We need to talk,” Poe said as soon as Rey emerged from Leia’s hut.

He’d been waiting for nearly an hour, ignoring looks from the crew, as well as Connix and D’Acy who came and went from the hut with instructions from the general. He’d even managed to avoid Rose’s questioning over what had happened to make both of them so on edge.

“I have work to do,” Rey replied curtly.

“Please, Rey,” he tried again, taking hold of her arm. “You disappeared from camp, I didn’t know where you were. I have to talk to you.”

“I heard what you had to say quite clearly,” she said, nodding back towards Leia’s hut.

“That…that wasn’t what I meant.”

Rey pulled her arm from his grasp. “I really don’t want to hear it.”

She motioned to Chewbacca who was finishing his lunch with the others, and made a few guttural noises in Shyriiwook as he approached them. Poe’s momentary surprise that she was able to speak the Wookiee’s language was soon replaced by alarm when Chewie loomed before him and barked a clear warning at him to back off.

“Seriously?” Poe glowered as Rey and Chewie walked out of camp together without a backwards glance.

“Okay, spill it,” Rose demanded, joining Poe after discarding her meal. “What the hell did you do?”

His face drained at her words.

“I’m a kriffing idiot, Rosie,” he said simply.

He didn’t have it in him to explain, instead he abandoned camp for the X-wing in the hopes that work would distract him. Anything but thinking about how he’d managed to offend Rey twice without even trying. And that she was leaving. And worse still that she probably hated him now. That part was causing a pain in his chest so raw he was having trouble catching his breath.

  
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Rey was running diagnostics on the _Millennium Falcon_ ’s shield generators and Chewbacca checked over the nav-computer when Rose came on board. She gave Chewie a wave before lowering herself onto the ship’s floor, her legs swinging into the open grate above where Rey was working.

“Hi,” Rose said casually.

Rey’s focus remained on her work, but she was relieved the unwanted visitor was Rose and no one else. Then she quickly popped her head up to satisfy herself that they were alone.

“Thought you might be hungry.” Rose offered her a bowl of fish stew and Rey’s stomach grumbled in response.

“I suppose so,” she said warily, then pulled herself from the hatch to sit beside her.

Rose waited while Rey scoffed the food, glad she’d brought a double helping. She was even rewarded with a smile when she withdrew a handful of berries from her pocket to follow. They sat together in a companionable silence until Rose pinned her with a saddened stare.

“You’re leaving.”

Rey stopped chewing and nodded, surprised at the emotion on her friend’s face.

“We’ll miss you. I’ll miss you,” Rose said. “It sounds silly but it was almost like having a sister again, this past month. Thank you for being my friend.”

Unbidden tears formed in Rey’s eyes. She realized just how much she depended on Rose and Finn and the ease with which they had included her in their lives. She’d never told them, barely knew how, but she loved them both.

“I’ll miss you too,” she replied. “But I’m sure we won’t be gone long. Leia can be very persuasive.”

Rose smiled at her. “Good. Because I don’t know how we’re going to put up with Poe while you’re gone. So you better be back soon.”

Rey’s expression darkened at his name. She dropped the remaining berries into her lunch bowl and dropped back down into the access hatch.

“I have to work,” Rey said dismissively. “Thanks for the food.”

She kept her focus on the instrument panel when Rose jumped down next to her, but heard the hiss that escaped her friend’s lips when her feet hit the floor.

“Kriff, are you okay?”

Rose was holding onto her ribs, trying to minimize the grimace on her face.

“Just a twinge. Internal injuries aren’t all they’re cracked up to be,” Rose joked. “Do you need a hand?”

Satisfied she wasn’t in too much pain, Rey felt herself getting defensive again.

“If it’s going to be accompanied by questions about _him_ , I’d rather work alone.”

Rose sighed. “Fair enough. So I’ll just say this… Whatever he did last night he clearly regrets it.”

“He didn’t do anything last night,” Rey said quietly, choosing to ignore what she’d overheard in Leia’s hut earlier.

“Are you sure? He was pretty panicked this morning when he couldn’t find you.”

Rey crossed her arms tightly. “I said something…something I wish I hadn’t. He made it clear he wasn’t interested, so there’s nothing more to say.”

“Wasn’t interested in what?” Rose asked, frowning.

“In me. Not like that.” Rey turned away, her face hot. “I’m so embarrassed.”

She didn’t expect the snort of laughter that erupted behind her. Rey spun around to glare at Rose.

“You’re kidding, right?” Rose said, still chuckling. When she saw the hurt on Rey’s face she smiled at her sympathetically and reached out to grasp one hand in hers. “Rey, beautiful Rey. You do know that Poe’s crazy about you, don’t you?”

Rey’s brow furrowed in response.

“He fell for you the moment he met you, by all accounts. Why do you think he’s been spending so much time with you, bugging you all the time? Why d’you think Finn kicks his ass so hard when they’re sparring? Why do I tease him so much? That boy is definitely interested in you _like that_. It’d be kind of cute if it wasn’t so pathetic that he hasn’t told you flat out.”

“But last night, I said—” Rey floundered, trying to remember exactly what she had said, but all she focused on was the rejection she’d felt when he’d laughed at her. “At least, I thought I made it clear that I—”

“That you what?” asked Rose, keeping the mirth from her voice the best she could.

“Nothing,” Rey mumbled.

Rose gave her hand a squeeze. “I really think you need to talk to Poe.”

“No, I’m too angry at him,” said Rey, crossing her arms again. “He just told Leia I shouldn’t go on this mission. That I wasn’t ready.”

“Gods, he was right. He really is a kriffing idiot. Maybe we should let Finn kick his ass.” Rose raised an eyebrow questioningly at her until Rey’s mouth twisted into something of a smile.

“Or I could just do it,” Rey responded with a shrug.

“Well, that’s true. But if you change your mind I’m sure he would appreciate the chance to make it up to you. To explain why he’d say such a stupid thing.” Rose shook her head slowly. “I’ve known Poe a long time. He’s impetuous. Stubborn. Cocky. And incredibly aggravating when he wants to be. But he’s also generous, and loyal, and _good_. He’d be a fool not to love you, Rey. And for all the shit I give him, he’s no fool.”

Rey’s eyes dropped to the floor, wondering how that could be true when she felt so much doubt.

“Now,” Rose said after a deep breath. “I promise, I won’t say anything else. I’m here to help with whatever you need.”

She turned her attention to the _Falcon_ ’s deflector shield panel and started checking over the wiring. Rey watched her from the corner of her eye for a moment before reaching for Rose’s hand and knitting their fingers together.

“I’d be lucky to have you for a sister,” Rey said softly.

“Just as well you do, then,” replied Rose, her face shining. “Let’s get to work.”

  
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They spent the rest of the afternoon going through every system check and diagnostic that Chewie, Rey and Rose could think of, with the help of R2-D2, to ensure the _Falcon_ was primed for their departure. Finn joined them to help but, given his limited mechanical skill that both women like to remind him about, he mostly just hung around to be close to Rey before she left.

She was happy there was no more Poe-talk, but as the skies began to darken she wondered if they would clear the air before it was too late. When Finn and Rose headed back to camp ahead of their last group meal, Rey packed up her tools and despatched Chewie to collect anything that Leia wanted to take with them on their mission. Part of her wasn’t surprised when Poe chose that moment to walk up the ship’s ramp, but the rest of her tensed anxiously.

“Hey,” he said, waiting cautiously for her reaction.

“Hey.” Rey willed herself to sound normal and almost succeeded. She paused but he didn’t seem to know what else to say. So she motioned to the crate of tools at her feet. “I was just finishing up.”

“I wanted to talk to you...I was waiting...” he said haltingly, then gave her a small smile that faded quickly. “Mostly until Chewie left. Can we talk...please?”

Rey’s heart thumped in her chest as he stared at her in a further silent plea. Her anger somehow forgotten, she nodded slightly.

“I didn’t mean what I said, I know you’re ready for whatever Leia needs. You’re a Jedi, of course you’re ready.” The words were tumbling out of his mouth now, any planned speech abandoned. “But you’re leaving and I’ll be stuck here, for who knows how long, and I was angry and scared and I...I don’t want you to go.”

Rey swallowed hard, her throat tight.

“Why were you scared?” she asked, not allowing herself to focus on the last part of what he’d said.

Poe walked slowly closer. “Because you’re heading into who-knows-what danger with an infamous freighter-sized target on your back. Because Leia is desperate and there are those out there who’d take advantage. Because the kriffing Supreme Leader and the First Order will stop at nothing to kill you. Because of _that_.”

Now only steps from her, he pointed to the lightsaber on her belt.

“I can take care of myself. Even better with this,” Rey pointed out, her fingers curling around the weapon.

“I know, but the thing is...I don’t think _I_ can. Not anymore.”

“We’ll be back soon,” she murmured, barely breathing in response to the way his eyes were focused on hers.

“I don’t want to be where you’re not, Jedi.” Poe used the word like a caress, different from every other time he’d used the moniker.

“You couldn’t have said that instead?” Rey asked with a slight quirk of one eyebrow.

He bit his bottom lip, hiding a smile. “I should have. This morning. Last night. Last week. I should have said so much to you. I’m sorry, Rey.”

“Better late than never, Commander.”

“You heard about that, huh?”

“I did. Sort of ruined my plans though,” she admitted lightly. “The whole fraternization thing could’ve been fun.”

“I’d march up to Leia and resign my commission right now if it meant... If I thought for one second you’d have me.”

“The Resistance needs you, Poe,” she said, then her voice dropped to a whisper. “I just want you.”

She smiled shyly when relief flooded his face, soon followed by another look that made her insides squirm as he took another step towards her.

“Is Chewie coming back?”

She nodded, her cheeks reddening further. He came closer.

“How long do you think?”

“At least a few more minutes. Why?”

“I need my arms to fly, and I get the feeling they’re at risk if he comes back too soon.”

He was close enough to touch her but didn’t. Rey waited nervously, taking in his long, dark lashes and the warmth in his brown eyes that shone as he gazed at her. His hand finally came to her cheek, a gentle thumb brushing over flushed skin. His eyes dropped briefly to her lips which caused her breath to catch. He froze in response.

“Is this okay?” he asked, doubt clouding his features. He gulped audibly and dropped his hand. “Shit, I’m sorry—”

“Stop talking. Please.”

Rey leaned forward and touched her lips to his lightly, but not uncertain. It only took a few moments for him to respond, tenderly at first before one hand went to her jaw and the other slipped into her hair.

She startled when the tip of his tongue met hers and Rey pulled away, embarrassed. She shot him a warning glance not to apologize again, and was relieved when he smiled instead. It didn’t mask the desire in his eyes, a reciprocal feeling she felt sure was evident in hers.

“Do that again?” she said, though it sounded more like a question. Poe was only too happy to oblige.

His limbs were safe when Chewie returned to the ship soon after with a box of Leia’s personal effects and a few days worth of rations, and he found them talking together in the main hold. A farewell dinner was about to commence and he prompted them to get out, not before a low growl at Poe that Rey, chuckling, refused to translate.

Poe waited until the Wookiee stalked ahead of them up the path so he could take hold of Rey’s hand, fingers entwined, without the threat of violence. When they reached the camp he didn’t let go, ignoring Finn’s glare and Rose’s grin. Instead he concentrated on the way the firelight reflected in Rey’s eyes as he gazed at her, wishing the dawn would take its time arriving.

  
0 0 0 0

  
They slipped out of camp when the first sun had barely appeared on the horizon. Leia had insisted on bidding the Resistance group goodbye the previous night and didn’t want any further fuss made. Finn and Rose were awake but he didn’t go with them, choosing to give Rey a bone crushing hug before mumbling an excuse to stay behind so she wouldn’t see him upset.

Rose walked behind Leia, Chewbacca and C-3PO but ahead of Rey and Poe as they made their way down the stone path to the _Falcon_. She gave them enough distance so as not to intrude but they did not speak as they followed. They had stayed up by the fire, talking in murmurs and whispers in between kisses that Rey felt anything but embarrassed about. Now Poe just held her hand and focused on what their homecoming would look like, not their leaving.

While Chewie and the droids prepped the ship’s engines, Rose hugged Rey fiercely and they shared words that Poe couldn’t hear. Leia stood to face him, following his steady gaze to Rey and then back again with a knowing smile.

“I leave the crew in your hands, Commander,” she said in a gravelly voice. “If anything happens to me you know what to do.”

Poe shut out the possibility of anything but a successful mission for his own self preservation, everything else was simply unimaginable.

“Yes, General,” he replied formally. “I won’t fail you again.”

“See that you don’t.” She grasped his hand briefly. “We’ll all be back soon.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Leia turned to find Rose offering her arm to support her on board which she accepted, more to give her commanders some time alone than a need for such help. Rose was clearly thinking the same.

Rey moved over to him, clear-eyed and  maintaining her composure for him as much as herself. Poe’s smile was tight and didn’t meet his eyes.

“Keep up the work on the X-wing,” she said evenly. “You promised to teach me how to fly it, remember.”

“Like I could teach you anything,” Poe countered.

Rey’s mouth curled suggestively as she thought of more than a few things he could teach her when she returned, which at least elicited a quiet chuckle from him that broke the tension.

“You’re incredible,” he reminded her.

“I know.” She grinned properly at him. “You already told me.”

“Hurry up and come back,” Poe ordered with as much authority as he could muster in that moment. He wrapped his arms around her, his face buried in her neck as he whispered, “Come back to me, Jedi.”

She nodded, not trusting her voice, and pulled back only far enough so she could kiss him soundly. When her lungs started to burn she broke away, before it got any harder to leave. She walked away quickly, touching palms with Rose as they passed at the foot of the _Falcon_ ’s ramp. Rey turned for one last look, with a determinedly optimistic smile just for Poe, before the ramp closed with a long hiss.

Rose tucked herself under Poe’s arm as they watched the _Millennium Falcon_ move gracefully from its landing, rising into the pale gray sky before it was nothing more than a speck in the distance.

He breathed in deeply, knowing Rey would return, that she cared for him more than he had any right to hope, and believing in a future that included her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, a little bonus epilogue is up too.


	8. Epilogue

The faint crack in the atmosphere was an unmistakable sound. Poe’s head jerked up from the X-wing cockpit and he squinted into the gray sky. The light flurry of snow that had started just days before made it difficult to discern much.

“Is that—” Rose gasped from the ground.

He felt a brief clench of fear that it could be an enemy ship but then he saw the familiar shape of the _Millennium Falcon_ in the distance and different emotions flooded his senses. He barely heard anything Rose said about there being no comms advising their return, nearly a month since they’d left Ahch-To. He was already sliding down the ship’s ladder and running for the clearing at the foot of the island.

Poe was halfway there, tracking the _Falcon_ ’s progress while keeping one eye on the rocky path so he didn’t break his neck, when he saw the second smaller vessel. Its distinctive shape was unmistakable – an X-wing starfighter. Once the _Falcon_ landed and the X-wing flew closer Poe realized it was a brand new T-85. He spotted R2-D2’s silver and blue dome behind the cockpit.

With barely enough room to fit, the X-wing landed beside the _Falcon_ as the freighter’s ramp extended. But Poe, trying to catch his breath, only had eyes for the starfighter and the helmeted head that popped out of the canopy as soon as it opened.

Rey pulled the silver helmet off, a grin plastered on her face as she launched herself onto the ground and straight into Poe’s waiting arms.

“Hello to you too, Commander,” Leia said in a raised voice from across the clearing, as the rest of the Resistance group streamed down the steps to welcome them back.

Poe, who was currently kissing his Jedi for all that he was worth, didn’t hear her.

“Miss me?” She laughed breathlessly as he hugged her tightly again, grasping her dark flightsuit.

“Off and on,” Poe replied nonchalantly, finally letting her go. “Beebee-Ate’s been pining for weeks. You?”

“I missed Beebee too. Otherwise I was far too busy with important Resistance business.”

“I see that,” he said, wrapping an arm around her waist as they turned to look over the T-85. He whistled appreciatively.

“What d’you think?”

“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He glanced at her, eyes twinkling. “Almost.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“Where’d you get her?”

“A grateful Rebel sympathizer. He wanted us to have the best. I said I could think of someone who’d give it a good home.”

Poe’s mouth gaped. “Wait, did you get me an X-wing?!”

“Oh Poe,” she said indulgently, tugging at his beard. “No, this is _mine_. But I did bring you something. Something you’ve been waiting for.”

She led him to the _Millennium Falcon_ , past the crew surrounding Leia who was advising them to pack as they would be leaving within days for their new base, up the ship’s ramp away from prying eyes, and down the main corridor. She grasped both his hands as she walked backwards towards one of the rear cargo holds, winking at him suggestively.

“Okay, I won’t lie, while you were away I may have imagined a scenario like this…” Poe stuttered.

“Behave yourself. And close your eyes.”

“I might have imagined this, too.”

Rey reminded herself to revisit that tidbit at a later date, and pulled him into the darkened hold. The lights took a moment to flick on, then her mouth was close to his ear telling him to open.

Poe’s lascivious grin faded into a more joyful smile as he saw the crates of engine parts, no doubt carefully matched to the list of T-65 X-wing components that Rose had compiled...everything that needed replacing on Luke’s starfighter.

“Do you like your present?” Rey asked hopefully, all teasing aside. She looked at him expectantly.

“Oh, Jedi, I could kiss you!” Poe replied with loving a shake of his head.

Then, because he could and because she wanted him to, he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who stuck with me on this. <3


End file.
